May 15, 2009

The McDonalds' Diet

Before I share this hysterical piece written by my sister, Casey. I'd like to reiterate that all buttons and the blog links will be back up shortly.

Now, to the comic relief:

The McDonalds Diet, by Casey

I recently lost 40 lbs. I've still got a little to lose, but I can see big changes in my body. I guess my friends can see the changes too, because many of them have been asking how I did it. I'll share my secret with you. I've been eating nothing but fast food - anything I want off the menu. There are only 2 rules to this diet: you have to bring your kids with you and you can't bring any food home. Here's a typical meal on my diet:

First, place your order. "I'll take one chicken nugget Happy Meal with fries and an orange soda for Michael. The lady will have a hamburger meal with apple dippers and a chocolate milk. I'd like a double cheeseburger with fries and a coke, super-sized." Really, you can order anything you want!

Take your food and the kids to a table and wait for the dieting magic.

Pass out everyone's food. Open the chocolate milk. Oops, forgot Katie's straw. Go back to the drink station and get her one.

Sit back down. Bring that hot, tasty burger to your lips and ...

"I need ketchup for my fries." Check to see if Katie needs any ketchup while you're up. She doesn't. Return to the drink station and get Michael some ketchup.

Sit back down. Pick up your warm burger for that first bite of cheeseburgery goodness and ...

"Ahh, my milk! My milk!!!" Katie has spilled her milk. Head back to the drink station for some napkins to clean the mess. Wipe up the table, floor and child. Throw away the wet napkins.

Sit down, pick up your room temperature burger and ...

"I need more ketchup." "Already!" "Yes, Mooooom, I can't eat my fries without ketchup." *sigh* "Fine." Return to the drink station, your home away from home, for more ketchup.

Sit down, throw a rubbery fry in your mouth before anyone can say anything and ...

"This burger isn't plain. I wanted a plain burger. This one has stuff on it!! I can't eat it unless it's plain." She never said she wanted plain. Go up to the counter and get her a new burger. Plain.

Sit down. Pick up your freezing cold burger, bring it to your mouth and ...

"There's no ketchup on this burger." Are you freaking kidding me??? Stomp up to the drink counter and get her some ketchup.

Sit down, shove the burger in your face and take a bite. Pick up a fry and ...

"I need more orange soda." Curse under your breath, grab the stupid cup, return to the damn drink station and fill up Michael's drink.

Return to the table. Check your watch. Oh, crap! It's time for school. Throw everything away and rush the kids out the door.

Total food consumed: Two fries and one bite of cheeseburger.
Total calories: about 30

May 10, 2009

Exp 5/11 The Mommy Files: Fushion Brand Cooking Gadgets

Anyone who knows me, knows my love of everything gadgety (gadget-like, gadgetish?) I love me some gadgets. The Mommy Files comes thru with a big scoop of gadgety goodness. So scoot that comfy desk chair over to The Mommy Files or you can click the button on the sidebar. Good luck and hurry hurry! This expires tomorrow.

Exp 5/11 The Downtown Boutique: Sugar Fly Pendant

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Exp 5/11 So Much More Than A Mom: Joolwe G/A

So Much More Than A Mom is hosting a Joolwe giveaway of a Sterling Silver Rectangular Amythest Pendant Necklace. Be sure to enter soon as this giveaway expires tomorrow!

5/10-16 Monkey Mayhem - Baby Week

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Exp 5/11 Monkey Mayhem - Family Auto Stickers

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Exp 5/11 Mommy Musings - Finish Quantum and Jet Dry

2 winners will receive a box of Finish Quantum Tabs and a bottle of Jet Dry from Mommy Musings. Hurry, hurry! This giveaway ends tomorrow.

Exp 5/11 Mama Makes Money: Nacho Mama Tee

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Exp 5/11 Look What Mom Found: Nachomamas t-shirt

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Exp 5/11 Label Daddy $50 GC

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Exp 5/11 Days like These: Dropps Laundry Detergent

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Exp 5/11 Busy Mom - Coffee Bean Sampler

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Exp 5/11 Blondes, Poop and Mascara - PZI jeans

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Exp 5/11 Blessings Abound - Lime Ricki Swimwear

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Exp 5/11 A Daily Dose Of Toni - Pink Vado Camcorder

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Exp 5/11 3 Garnets & 2 Sapphires : Hotel For Dogs DVD

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Exp 5/11 3 Garnets & 2 Sapphires - Funky Kidz Cd

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May 9, 2009

Exp 5/10 The Life Of A Home Mom - Chlorox Canisters

Cool Beans! I want one of these. These Chlorox canisters have a more finished and appealing look than the regular ones. They have colors to match nearly any decor. Our hostess at The Life Of A Home Mom is kindly offering the chance to win one of your own. Just scoot your desk chair over to The Life Of A Home Mom and get started:

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Exp 5/10 Mommy Mandy - Sticky Words

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Exp 5/10 Lillyshaystyle - Tiny Dew Drops

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Exp 5/10 MomsTakeOnThings - Subway P.E.P. Rally

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Exp 5/10 Eight MPH Mom - ELF cosmetics

Eighty MPH Mom keeps rolling along with her Mother's Day Week of Giveaways. Today's gift is an E.L.F. cosmetics kit. You can enter here,
go straight to her site at or click on her button or blogroll link on the sidebar. Good luck to all.

Exp 5/10 BusymommyProductReviews - Yoplait Kids Pack

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Exp 5/10 Audrey's Spot - Country Bob's BBQ Sauce

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Exp 5/10 An Island Life - Body Shop Collection

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Exp 5/10 A Couch With A View - N-fini shapewear

Got lumps? I do. That's why I want to win the n-fini shapewear giveaway at A Couch With A View. You can check out da' Couch by clicking your choice of two (2!) buttons. A Couch With A View or A Couch With A View "Snazzy Summer" Want to go directly to the giveaway? Here's the link:

Exp 5/10 A Couch With A View - A Whole Lotta Pampering

You know you need it! Pampering, that is. Casey at A Couch With A View comes thru again with just the thing you need, the mother of all pampering kits. (Aren't I punny - mother/mother's day) hee hee. Why am I the only one laughing? Oh well, I'm having a good time. You can check out my chicklet, Casey, by hittin' her button on the sidebar or use this link to go directly to the contest:

May 8, 2009

Exp 5/10 100CafeStreet - Cake Vase

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also see and

Exp 5/9 Design Baby - Tiny Tag

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Exp 5/9 Coupon Queens - Chagrin Valley Soap

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Exp 5/9 Blisstree- pingg cards

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Exp 5/9 Blessings Abound - Things Remembered

Blessings Abound is offering you a chance to win a Things Remembered charm bracelet or necklace with started charm of your choice with engraving. You can click on the Blessings Abound button on my sidebar or you can enter here

Exp 5/9 An Island Life - Kiss My Face

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Exp 5/9 A Psych Mommy - Things Remembered

File this under WANT! A Psych Mommy is offering a chance to win a Charm bracelet or necklace from Things Remembered with your choice of charm with engraving! I really want this as I don't have a charm bracelet. Difficult to understand? Yes. I'm so charming, but no bracelet. How can this be? Well, I'm going to do my best to win this little beauty by earning all the entries I can. You can too. Enter here
or click the A Psych Mommy button on my sidebar.
Good Luck to All, Heather

Exp 5/9 A Giveaway Addicted Mommy - NNichols Giveaway

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May 7, 2009

Exp 5/8 Sanity Is For Those Without Children - Firefly

Win a Firefly children's phone at Sanity Is For Those Without Children. My daughter had one of these before she was ready to move up to a regular phone (read: phone with a million buttons, or rather 9 buttons and a million ways to rack up those cell phone charges.) The Firefly worked great. It is very simple to operate, the icons are clear and you can stay in touch. Personally, I wish they had one for moms. When I'm at home, I need to call work. When I'm at work, I need to call home. Anyway, I digress. Get over to Sanity Is For Those Without Children (isn't that the truth!) and enter to win a Firefly for your little one (or yourself, I won't tell.) Enter here: You'll also find the button on my sidebar. Good luck to all.

Exp 5/8 The Girl In Paradise - Break Pal

WANT! I think everyone knows by now that I want the BreakPal really bad. Everytime I read a review I want it even more. Well, The Girl In Paradise is keeping my hopes up with a BreakPal giveaway with 5(!) yes, that's FIVE winners! That means I could be one!!!! And you could be one, too. So, scoot your desk chair over to The Girl In Paradise and enter now. The giveaway expires tomorrow. Enter here:

If you find out you've won, come back and post so I know where to come steal it. Oops, did I say that? I meant, come by your house and personally congratulate you. Yes, that's what I meant. Seriously. No worries.

Exp 5/8 Three Different Directions - Romano Grill Kit

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Exp 5/8 Thrifty Maven - Bride Wars DVD & Paper Shouts

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Exp 5/8 A Daily Dose of Toni - Photofiddle $50GC

Want! A Daily Dose of Toni is offering a chance to win a $50 GC to Photofiddle. Now, I hesitate to even share this with you as I want to be the winner, but not sharing would be wrong. IF loving art is wrong, I don't wanna be right. (sob) Better hurry, you only have until tomorrow to stab me in the heart... I mean, to enter the contest. Enter here:

Exp 5/8 3 Kids and Us - Things Remembered

Things Remembered is offering one lucky winner the choice of a Charm Story 40" necklace or 8" Charm Bracelet with your choice of charm with engraving to start you off on your own charmed story. You can enter at 3 Kids and Us

May 6, 2009

Exp 5/7 Simple Finds - Get Your Spring On

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Exp 5/7 Rave and Review - Joann Transfer bag

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Exp 5/7 Piece of Me - Layers $25 GC

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Exp 5/7 Mama Makes Money - Nikita Lynn Giveaway

Mam Makes Money continues her Girly Giveaway Extravaganza with a 3 pc Anna cosmetic set from Nikita Lynn
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Exp 5/7 Jolly Mom - $50 Happy Green Bee credit

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Exp 5/7 Feisty Frugal & Fabulous - Pences Giveaway

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Exp 5/7 Feisty, Frugal and Fabulous - Breathe Natural

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Exp 5/7 Eighty MPH Mom - Finish Detergent

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Exp 5/7 Eighty MPH Mom - It's a Glam Thing

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Exp 5/7 Cool Baby Kid - Invisible Stripes Tee

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Exp 5/7 Baby Loving Mama - Things Remebered

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Exp 5/7 Any Lucky Day - Boog bag

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Exp 5/7 An Island Review - Suncare Giveaway

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Exp 5/8 A Couch With A View - Dora table toppers

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Exp 5/8 A Couch With A View - Florastor

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Exp 5/7 3 Garnets & 2 Sapphires - Lapton Skin

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Exp 5/7 3 Garnets and 2 Sapphires - Envirosax

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May 5, 2009

Exp 5/6 As They Grow Up - Ahnu Shoes

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Exp 5/6 A Hook, A Line, And A Girl - Joolwe

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May 4, 2009

Exp 5/5 My Organized Chaos - Praireland skin care

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Exp 5/5 Mama Makes Money Girly Giveaway Extravaganza

Mama Makes Money has some more Girly Giveaways for us! These expire tomorrow so hurry!

Giveaway #35 Win a $25 GC to RainbowSwirlz Enter here:

Giveaway #36 $25GC to Lemon Lollipop
Enter here:

Giveaway #37 Choice of earrings: Ms. Peacock Singlefeather, Octopussy Rectangle in white or black or Octobussy Seagrass in white or black from This Ilk
Enter Here:

Giveaway #38 Win a Luxe Funk-tional Compartment Laptop Sleeve in Pink Flutter from Melissa Beth Designs
Enter Here:

Good Luck To All

Exp 5/10 Hip Mama's Place - 7 Days of Fabulous

And it IS fabulous. Go to Hip Mama's Place right now. Are you there yet? No? Then you must still be here, reading this. You will want to go there soon, so I'll start you off with a little teaser.
Seven. Days. Of. Fabulous. There, you made me say it. Now get over there and enter ASAP. (Be sure to read her instructions, they are very specific. Don't DQ yourself.)

Exp 5/5 Good Golly Miss Blondie - Top It Off Accessories

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Exp 5/5 Feisty Frugal and Fabulous - Kinesys sunscreen

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Exp 5/5 Eighty MPH Mom - Amino Genesis Cream

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Exp 5/5 dkmommyspot - Save Your World shamoo & conditioner giveaway

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Exp 5/5 Blessing Abound - Hallmark gift card set

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Exp 5/5 Blessings Abound - Clean and Green

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Exp 5/5 An Ordinary Life - Kodak digital frame

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Exp 5/5 A Wresting Addicted Mommy - Softsoap starter Kit

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Exp 5/5 A Wrestling Addicted Mommy - Carolyns Aprons

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Exp 5/5 A Hook, A line, and a Girl - Break Pal

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Exp 5/5/ A Daily Dose of Toni - Haagen Daz Ice Cream

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May 3, 2009

Exp 5/4 Happily Blended - Basa Body package

Enter to win a Basa Body gift set at Happily Blended
While you're there, please read her very informative blog and learn more about Mom It Forward

Exp 5/4 Hip Mamas Place - Bracelets

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Exp 5/4 Jolly Mom - Trendy Peas Painting

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Exp 5/4 Lisa Reviews - Hallmark Card Package

This is a new site for me. Very cute. You can enter for her Hallmark Card Package which includes 2 of those recordable cards - one for Mother's Day the other for Dad. While you're there entering, and I know you will be, take a look around. You won't be disappointed.

Exp 5/4 Mami's Time Out - Pilates DVD

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Exp 5/4 Maria's Space - Break Pal

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Exp 5/4 Mommy Goggles - Cloth Couture

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Exp 5/4 Mud Bug - Dole $25 Coupons

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Exp 5/4 Mudpies & MaryJanes - Kinesys Sunscreen

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Exp 5/4 My Mom's View - Lavish & Lime $25GC

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Exp 5/4 My Mom's View - SlimPerfect

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Exp 5/4 My Sentiments ExactLee - Kiss My Face

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Exp 5/4 Pho for 5 - Tiny Prints Necklace

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Exp 5/4 Red Sox Mommy - CLR prize back

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Exp 5/4 Simply Being Mom - Douglas Plush Toys

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Exp 5/4 Simply Being Mom - Dr Fresh Giveaway

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5/4 Tara's View of the World - Sinupret prize pack

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Exp 5/4 The Post-It Place - Stationary Set

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Exp 5/4 3 Garnets & 2 Sapphires - PhotoFiddle

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Exp 5/4 3 Garnets & 2 Sapphires - KinEsys sunscreen

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Exp 5/4 3 Garnets & 2 Sapphires - Edible Gifts Plus $40 GC

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May 2, 2009

Exp 5/3 Crazy Working Mom- Photofiddle GC

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Exp 5/3 An Island Life - Sunfiltered Giveaway

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Exp 5/3 - I Stop Mom - Magna Play Giveaway

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Weekly Wrap Up - Heather's Hurricane Winners

I'd like to thank the following:
1. Berri Sweet Picks for the photo book contest. This a really cute site. Informative and fun. Please give it a look see.
2. I Like Pretty for choosing me the winner of her mystery prize giveaway. Follow the link and read my entry. I'm so funny. Speaking (or rather, typing,) of funny - check out her cool crafts at I never thought of art for the shower, but now I ralize how under-utilized that space is for art display. Of course, only my family will be able to enjoy it, but I have plans. Bwah ha ha. When people come in my house, I'll tell them as politely as possible that they "reek" and suggest the take a shower. Now. In my shower. I can hear the complements rolling in already.
3. Green Earth Journey for her e-mail newsletter. If you have a teenage daughter or if you are interested in emerging research regarding women, please read her post
Thanks ladies. You've officially won Heather's Hurricane! What is Heather's Hurricane, you might ask yourself. Well, here's your answer. I'll roll thru your sites with a storm of favoriting: stumble, kirtsy, facebook, digg, technorati, etc. (I think you get the idea.) Good times. Good times.

May 1, 2009

Exp 5/2 This Mom Can Shop - Ruthless & Toothless

I love these Ruthless & Toothless onesies. It's like art on your baby.

Exp 5/2 The Not So Blog - Sparklehearts

Win a Sparklehearts product of your choice at The Not So Blog

Exp 5/2 Pretty Pink Momma - Chocolate gift!

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5/2 My Organized Chaos - Stationary Set

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Exp 5/2 - My Organized Chaos - Candleland

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Exp 5/2 Maria's Space - Bella Bejeweled $25GC

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Exp 5/2 Mama Makes Money - Dapple

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Exp 5/2 Mama Makes Money - n-fini-shape

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Ladies who do...

I'd like to thank Rosalie at for declaring me "officially hilarious."
Her giveaway was a mystery prize (I just LOVE surprises!) To enter, one needed to create a plot for a movie whose title must begin with "Ladies who do..."

For some reason I can't cut/paste my entry so you could read it here. It you'd like a treat, go thru the link above and it will take you to the contest page. Please do. It's a great site and if you need a laugh, it's the place to go.

Rosalie is a stand-up comedian and a water-proof shower art maker. I had no idea such a market existed, but now we know. While you're there to read my entry, poke around the site and see her shower art which ranges from "pretty to weird". It's a blast!

Exp 5/2 Blessings Abound - Reusable Tote

Enter for a Reusable tote from Blessings Abound

Exp 5/2 An Island Life - Photofiddle $50 GC

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Exp 5/1 - The Glamorous WAHM - Pearl Bracelet

Here's to your heart health! Read all about it at the Glamorous WAHM and enter to win one of three freshwater pearl bracelets from the Cherrios heart campaign .